Friday, August 1, 2008

Traaing to lern good englishing

I am remembering my school days when we had fun listening our authorities speaking in English.
We had few funny hostel Superintendents (Subedars from ARMY) to keep people like us in good shape & size. I really don't want to compare & go in detail to their educational background, but the common thing between them was that, they were putting regular effort in learning good English.
I remember the day when I & bunch of other idiots were sitting in parade ground listening to a long & passionate speech from one of our Subedar, whom we fondly called Munda.
The funny part about this munda was that, he constantly called himself superior to rest of the people in the school. He had cultivated in his mind that he has 2 stars on his shoulder, which is just one less than what our principal had. So, only principal is superior to him. No one else has authority other than the principal to order him.
So Munda was discussing with us about the IPKF attack on LTTE gurreilas in Srilanka. He spoke about how they fought bravely & the number of Indian soldiers who got killed in that intense battle.
He suddenly stopped in between & asked everyone, "There is a word that the Jawans used constantly during war time, "Casualty". Can anyone tell me its meaning?
One among us replied, "sir, Casualty means Death".
Munda Said, "Nahni, tum logon ko kuch nahni pata. yeh sirf jawan ko pata hota hai. Casualty ka matlab maut hota hai".
Then there was another incident in hostel which I remember till date.In our hostel, every night we used to have a roll call sharp at night 10 PM, just to get a head count or to make an announcement, or to punish anyone involved in some misdoing.Most of the time our hostel Superintendent would present during roll call. We fondly called him Mathiya, means earthen pot in oriya.
One fine night, few of my friends were missing during the roll call.So mathiya shouted..."where is they, u have any idea, where is they".There was a student named Dey, who came out & said, "sir,i am here".Mathiya replied, "No, I am not looking for you. All I am asking is where is they".

I guess you all know where is that "THEY" now, find him and produce to Mathiya who is still struggling with plural and singular. Get him a grammar book asap.

Monday, April 21, 2008

poultry-firm concept

Year 2000.
I was in Bhubaneswar,studying in 2nd Year,engineering & this young man arrived with his luggage.He was my school friend Saagar,elder son,supply inspector,Bhadrak.He was a slim,dark guy,but was a champ,in terms of the way he mingles with girls.He wanted to prepare for MBA entrance.He joined a coaching institute near by.

We were staying in a room near by a girls high school.& our hero got in to his act as fast he can.He started mingling with many high school girls & became very close to them.The girls used to mix with him freely & even respected him.They used to call him saagarda.& my dear friend too was reciprocating nicely to them.
After a year Saagar left Bhubaneswar,to study MBA in an institute in Delhi.

Year 2003.
I was in Bhubaneswar,in another house & this young man arrived again,in a bike,with his luggage.He had completed his MBA degree.He looked altogether diffrent.He had a toned mascular body covered by a lather jacket with a pair of matching sunglasses.

He asked me to sit behind him in his bike & we went down to the nearby college,where few girls greeted him with hugs & kisses.I could not understand-what the hell was happening.

Saagar said,'This is poultry-firm concept.You need to take care of the chicks when they are young,then only you can fetch the value in the future.'

Year 2008
Saagar is the owner of the biggest poultry firm in Bhadrak.

Monday, March 31, 2008

Thats all we want.

I remember a wedding reception of one of my friend Saan's sister marriage.He had called many of my friends.My friends Kumar & Ravi too were present there.They both had drinking problem.Saan didn't know about it.When we reached there they both were with Saan.They were in nice shape.So Saan requested them to recieve the guests.& they happily obliged.
As the evening passed,they got fully drunked.They went on & got out of their mind.They used to say the same words to all the guests.
Dont worry about gifts & money.
Just enjoy the food.
Enjoy the evening.
& bless the couple.
Thats all we want.
They did not even notice who else was coming to the reception.Then i heard a noise,someone was slapping Ravi continuously.I went close.He was being slapped by his father.He had just arrived for the reception,& his son recieved him saying the following words.
Dont worry about gifts & money.
Just enjoy the food.
Enjoy the evening.
& bless the couple.
Thats all we want.

Appearence/Impression

I remember my boarding school days.I had a friend named Monty.He was the most energetic idiot i have ever seen.His father used to be a rich businessman.But Monty never looked like a son of a wealthy father.He was the dirtiest among us & always wears the worst clothes.
Appearances can be deceiving & you might end up creating wrong impression on the minds of others.Everyone including our hostel warden always believed that Monty is a wretched guy from a poor family. & Monty lived up to the faith,when he got failed in the final exam,before passing out.
I met my warden,couple of years after passing out from my school.He told me,'you know,i heard from someone that Monty is selling coconuts now a days.'
His gestures suggested like Monty is selling coconut on the roadside.
Last heard,Monty was taking care of father's business.Actually his father had a big coconut firmland,& they used to supply coconut all over orissa.

Sunday, March 30, 2008

why feel sorry

One of my college friend,Bunny, used to work for a company in Gurgaon.He is a music lover.he can play all kinds of musical instuments.Last month,we found that he has been thrown out of the company. The reason why he was thrown out is really funny.
Couple of months back he had met a piano teacher.He taught him certein lessons & told him that if you practice for 15 days continiously,you can master the instument. Then Bunny started practising piano continiously for days.He did not go to office,he did not eat or sleep,he was very dedicated.After 15 days,he tonsured his head.He went to the office & told the manager that his grandfather suddenly expired.He could not inform & went straight to his home.The manager at that instant asked his home Phone no,called his father & expressed sorry for Bunny's grandfather.
Bunny's father said,'yeh,its alright.but why you are feeling sorry for someone who has expired before 10 years'.
By that time Bunny was on his knees.The manager called the guards & asked them to throw Bunny out of office.

Saturday, March 29, 2008

Salam Namaste

I used to have a friend in my college days.Hari.He used to be the single child of one of the richest family in Cuttack,& used to enjoy all the pleasures of life in his home.But,sadly he looked like a servent of his home,i mean he looked terrible.
A milkman used to supply milk to Hari's home.Hari had a problem.Early morning he needs to have milk before going to bathroom.He was habituated.Like,Saif Ali khan in salam namaste.So,everyday,he would get up in the morning to collect milk from the milkman.The milkman had by now thought Hari as the servent of the house.
One fine day,Hari's father was very upset with Hari & scolded him like anything.Poor fellow got upset & was sitting in the Lawn outside.At that time the milkman was approching towards his home,& had seen evrything.He came near Hari & said,'dont be upset.Your owner is a very nice man.Just return whatever you have stolen.He will excuse you'. Hari stared at the milkman with anger & started crying like a baby.
Next morning,Hari got up in the morning & as usual went to the door to collect the milk.The milkman told him,'Thats my boy.I told you,just surrender & things will be fine.Look,if you need extra money,just ask the owner to increase your salary.What is the need to do such nasty things'.

Lets sell the kidney

I remember my engineering days.During Exam period,at midnight,me & my friends used to go to the nearby railway station for having tea.One night,when me & my friend were going to the railway station in a bike,a young kid asked for lift.He had missed his last bus.We gave him lift,& ask him to sit in the middle.
In the midway,my friend told me'I have contacted the person in the medical,he needed the kidney tonight.Why not sell this kid's kidney'.
I said,'yeh,sure.We can make 5 lacs easily.'
By that time,the kid got very nervous & started crying.
My friend stopped the bike in front of the raiway station & asked the kid to get down.He said we were just joking,& advised him not to ask for lift from strangers.

Frustrated Youth.

I remember the period when we had just passed out from the college.There was no job,hardly any money,no work,lots of frustration.It was post 9/11.Me & my friends were in bhubaneswar,living in an world of despair.
Once I was travelling in a bike with my friend & the bike got punctured.We took it to a garage near-by.The mechanic had gone for lunch,so we thought we would try to make it ourselves.we were really tired & hungry that time.The place was near by our college from where we had passed out.
At that moment two of the college lecturers were passing by.They just stepped in & asked,'what the hell you people are doin here'.
My friend who was a bit short tempered said,'what the hell do you think we are doin here.what the hell we supposed to do when we complete our education from the college that you teach.We have opened this garage & working as mechanics'.
At that instant the two lecturers started their bikes & went away with the maximum speed.

School memories

School days are the most dramatic period of life.Here is an incident i recollect till now.
My school mate,Tushar & his brothers were very very naughty in their school days.One tution master used to come to their home to teach them.He used to punish them a lot.
One day while teaching,he slapped tushar very hard.His younger brother saagar got very angry & slapped the teacher.Then elder brother Milan & Tushar too joined him.They closed the door,& hit the teacher like anything.Their mother kept shouting & requesting from the widow.
That incident became very famous.From then,no other teacher ever entered their home.